The Terrors of The Morning

That moment when you’re waking up slowly and you hear a boy band belting out an anthem and think your house has been broken into by a group of overenthusiastic overmadeup 14 year old girls or ironic hipsters cooking weird salmon pancakes. Then you wake up more and realise you live with your mum and she’s trying her best, ‘Oh my music didn’t wake you up did it? Here hold this for a moment, you could help me clean the house now you’re up’ move. You did wake me up and I was terrified.  I was ready to grab my bug out bag, smash a window and practice my Tom Cruise hands chopping the air run.

Why can’t I get woken up by birds carrying ribbons like snow white or by a lovely bear who makes porridge.  Snow White, Goldilocks stop hogging all the heartwarming home decorating breakfast making woodland creatures.

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